Beki's Blog

My life and the journey to self-awareness

Why is this so much easier said than done?

Saw this posted somewhere online anonymously, so I can’t credit the website or author.

“I think that part of life is learning to trust and let go, that is one of life’s lessons for me. We are only human and can’t control everything that happens, so you just have to trust. Every time you open up to a relationship there is a risk of losing that person. Every time you go out in a car on the roads there is a risk of getting killed. But you can’t let that stop you from living – you have to trust and go for it.”

What I can say is, why is this so much easier to read and intellectually comprehend than to put into practice?

What if history has told you when you let go and trust you get stomped on like a door mat, or run over? I know it is completely unfair to put this on the person who didn’t do it to you, who promises they won’t – but letting go and trusting is an entirely different ball game. I mean I know the risks of driving (that I could get into a crash and die), but that doesn’t stop me from getting into the car every day and trusting that I will make it to my destination safely. Why is it harder to trust with my heart, than to trust with my life?

Maybe it’s because I’ve had my heart broken, and I’ve never been killed in a car crash.

Regardless, everyone has flaws. I know I do. Even the amazing man that I love with my whole heart has flaws. It’s identifying and admitting and trying to correct our flaws that makes us stronger individuals. I know I want to be an emotionally healthier person and partner. I know I can never be perfect, but I can keep practicing towards being more whole, less flawed, more loving and more trusting. I’m worth it. My heart deserves it and so does my wonderful man.

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October 27, 2009 - Posted by | Relationships | , ,

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