Beki's Blog

My life and the journey to self-awareness

Re-focusing, again – and a fitness challenge!

So much happened to me internally after I finished my sprint triathlon almost 3 weeks ago. And none of it was what I expected. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Most people would finish a sprint triathlon and then feel like they could conquer the world. I finished and felt like I should have done better. Good grief!

As an overachiever, I tend to forget that I should be having fun while reaching my goals. As a people pleaser, I need to remember that my goals, should be MY goals, not goals to make other people proud of me.

It’s especially difficult to do this when your whole life has been trying to prove to judgmental parental figures that they should be proud of you. I’m trying really hard to just learn how to be proud of myself and not worry or care about what anyone (and by anyone I mean my father and step-mother) thinks. Mostly because it doesn’t matter what I do, I will never get their approval. Sad (and I’m not looking for any sympathy), but true.

I started running because I wanted to. I was on Weight Watchers and decided that I wanted to try running as a new form of cardio. I found the Couch to 5K program and completed that. I had fun! I enjoyed running! I got tattoos because I wanted to. I like the way they look. I honestly didn’t (and still don’t) care what anyone else thought. They make me feel less plain. (Different issue altogether.) I started law school because I wanted to. I wanted to be a lawyer in Junior High. These were all decisions that I made on my own. I didn’t do them for anyone, to impress anyone. I did them for me. I really need to get back to that.

I need to get back to having fun. I went on a 35 mile bike ride a couple weekends ago and hated it. It wasn’t fun. At all. Not even a little bit. I’m still pretty new to cycling, so maybe in time I will enjoy that long of a ride. Right now, my limit is about 15-20 miles before I’m miserable.

So for the first 3 ½ months of this year, I had a plan and a goal. Train for the sprint triathlon. I enjoyed myself. I was focused and excited about achieving something I never thought I would be able to do. At the sprint triathlon – had I been more prepared for the open water, I would have had fun. Does that mean I never want to tri again? NO WAY! It just means that I need to get some open water swimming in and finish a couple more sprint triathlons before moving to the longer distance events.

The last 3 weeks, I’ve had no plan. No goal to work towards. I feel like (in the areas of fitness and nutrition) I’ve been sort of twisting in the wind. That’s no good. All that is going to get me is gaining the weight that I’ve worked really , really hard to lose, piled right back on. I don’t want that.

Back on 4/14, I got down to 138 lbs. I’m now holding at 140.6 for the past 2 weeks. My ultimate goal is 130 (my dream weight is 125, but I don’t think that is realistic for my body). So, I’m the last 10 tough pounds away! For whatever reason, I excel when I’m in a challenge situation. I need a goal. Something to focus on.

In addition to my ½ marathon training, I’ve decided to create my own challenge. You want in? I would love it! Most of you know that I did the Jillian Michael’s 30 Shred for 30 straight days in March. I took before and after pics.

I’m ready for a new Jillian Michael’s inspired fitness challenge. Are you? Let’s do this! Here’s the skinny (haha, I made a funny!):

Challenge Duration:
This challenge will be 6 weeks starting Monday, May 17th and will end Sunday, June 27th. This gives everyone who wants in, 11 days to get together the DVD’s and equipment. (look at garage sales, ask friends, see if NetFlix has the DVD’s.)

Here’s what you will need:

3 Jillian Michael’s DVDs.
1. The Biggest Winner! Shape Up – Front
2. The Biggest Winner! Shape Up – Backside
3. The Biggest Winner! Cardio Kickbox
These DVD’s are from 2005. You should be able to find them online (Amazon).

You need dumbbells (2-5 lbs, or whatever is your fitness level),

An aerobic step bench (you will be doing cardio intervals on it, as well as laying on it for the strength portions).

Workout Duration:
Each workout is 30 minutes long.

Monday – Front
Tuesday – Backside
Wednesday – Cardio Kickbox
Thursday – Front
Friday – Back
Saturday – Do at least 30 minutes of cardio – any kind you want
Sunday – day of rest! You’ve earned it!!

Sunday May 16th, I will be taking some before pictures, measurements, weight and body fat estimation. I will also include my goals for the challenge. I am a firm believer in taking before and after pictures. You don’t have to share them, but trust me, if you stay with the challenge for six weeks, you will be soo happy you did!

Each Sunday will be weigh in day. If you are doing the challenge, comment on my weekly blog entry with either your blog, or just report how you did or felt during the week.

Jillian Michaels quote from the end of the Shape up – Front DVD, “Make yourself a priority. Commit to the process and you will see results… Nothing wonderful in life comes without hard work.”

Let’s get this done! I hope you will join me!


May 6, 2010 - Posted by | Fitness Challenge, Me, Weight Loss | , , , , ,


  1. You are so great! Keep up the good work and I would love to see you soon.

    Comment by Tiffanie | May 6, 2010 | Reply

  2. […] of my upcoming challenge (starts in one week on Monday 5/17 – and everyone is invited to join!), I am changing my weekly […]

    Pingback by Beki's Blog | May 11, 2010 | Reply

  3. […] I also talked about my own 6 week challenge, which has been postponed 2 weeks because of my sciatica and TMJ issues. No more postponing! My fitness challenge starts Monday, May 30th! (Yes, I know it’s a holiday, but it’s only 30 minutes!) If you want to learn more about my fitness challenge, you can read all about it here! […]

    Pingback by Leaving the land of eternal funk « Beki's Blog | May 26, 2010 | Reply

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